THE MISSING INGREDIENT
by Spirit Burner AKA Chick Feed
Summary: It's what he knew he needed right now to get him through this. So where was it? Just an idle afternoon brain burp. Started to type, seeing where it would lead, this' the result. Let me kmow if you like it, or indeed if you think anything should be changed or added. No spoilers. Not set in any particular time frame.


**THE MAGIC INGREDIENT**

_It's what he knew he needed right now to get him through this, so where was it?_

-o-o-o

He'd started out on foot, walking tall and strong, confident, self assured. Somewhere along the line he knew he'd done that thing on his hands and knees, _crawl,_ yeah, that was it, he'd spent some time crawling. Now? Now he just lie still where he'd collapsed and rolled onto his side, crawling suddenly needing more energy than he'd got.

Weird, how things could change so fast, so completely, so unexpectedly. He'd set off fine, now he felt like shit. Still, he'd survived worse, hadn't he? He figured he could survive this...whatever it was that had changed things. Well, he could if he knew where that magic ingredient was, the one that got his ass through times like this, the only thing he knew _could_ get him through...his brother.

Lifting his head up from the floor was a trial. He'd never given any thought to what his head might weigh, but right now it felt like it weighed a ton as he tried looking around. Once he found him, he'd ask how somebody could find out how much just their head on it's own weighed, without having to chop it off. Damn vision. How's he supposed to see when his brother comes if he can't see straight? He did remember to tell his brother where to find him, didn't he? 'Cos if not, that could end up being a hitch in the plan.

Plan? Had he'd planned this then? Laying outside in the dark, his face planted in a pool of something yucky and wet on the floor with a head that weighs a ton? Not one of his best it had to be said. Why the Hell would this have been a good idea? For one thing, it hurt. In fact, now he'd drawn it to his own attention, it hurt like a bitch! Come on bro', hurry up and get here. Gotta be time for you to do your bit now, I've had enough of my part of this crappy plan. Where's the Hell's the pain coming from anyway? Feels like it's more than just my huge head. There's something...C'mon, think...think...Oh. I remember. Loud noise, yeah, there was a loud noise. Explosion? Nah, something else, something...something to do with a car? God, it hurts.

Where is he? He has to know it hurts. Why isn't he here, fixing it yet? Can't rely on anyone. _Ahhh_...Shit. _Damn_...Hurts...Too much...Can't...I can't...

-o-o-o-

"...up. Please, please wake up. Help's comin', help's comin', you just keep breathin,' you have to keep breathing."

"S'pposed to come sooner."

"What?"

"S'pposed...to...come sooner. Planned it."

"You...? You crashed the car on purpose? No! Stay with me...I don't understand...Why?...Why would you? No! No! I said breathe, you hear me? _Breathe_ you son of a bitch, breathe, please..."

-o-o-o-

"Sir? Move away sir. I need you to move away."

"He's not breathing, he's not breathing, he's..."

"You two! Move this guy back out the way, _now_! Jeeze...What a friggin' mess! Ok, going with the De-fibb ... Clear ... And again; clear ... Pass me that Adrenaline ... ... Hitting him again. Clear ... ..."

-o-o-o-

"You say he did this intentionally?"

"That's, that's what he said, before... _Planned it_. He said _planned it_."

"Had your brother been depressed? Shown any signs of suicidal behaviours before this?"

"No...No, nothing, he...We...Were fine, he was fine. He went out to grab us some beer and a pizza, that's all. Just a quick food run, there was nothing...Nothing to...Nothing."

"Ok, ok son, try to calm down. I'm sorry I had to ask you, really I am."

-o-o-o-

"Can I see him? Can I see my brother?"

"Are you sure you're ready? He's...Well, you were there, you saw. He's a mess."

"I don't care. I want to see him, _please_. I have to."

"I understand. Ok, I'll take you down myself but, really, I need you to be prepared. Your brother, he ... We've cleaned him up as best as we could, but...Well...You're certain you still want to do this right now?"

"Yes...I'm certain."

"Is there anyone else we need to contact? Any other family?"

"No...There's just me...It's just me."

-o-o-o-

"Hello. My name's Heather. They told me someone would be bringing you down. This way ... There's a chair right there ... I expect you want some time alone?"

"Yes...Thank you."

"Ok. If you need anything, I'll be right outside this door. Take your time. You come back out when you're ready honey and, I'm sorry, I am. I'll leave you with him. Don't you forget, I'm just out here.

-o-o-o-

"Seriously? You thought that?"

"What else was I _supposed_ to think? You said _planned it_!"

"Dude! I'd cracked my melon open, as well as a few ribs, my shoulder and an ankle. And, lets not forget that a bigger percentage of my blood than is good for _anybody_ was on the outside of my body! I didn't know what _century _it was; I was ga ga, loopy, chasing the bluebirds, jerk!"

"So? I'm supposed to have known that?"

"Look at me. It was an _accident_, pure and simple. Ok? If that freaking dog hadn't appeared from nowhere an' run out into the road...Next time? The dog loses."

"No. You'd do the same again, I know you."

"You think? If you do, then you should know I _wouldn't_ kill myself. Not like that. I'd _never_ lay that one on you, you hear me? _Never_! ... Ok?"

"Ok! But, I still lost you...You were _gone _... And when they took me down to ICU and I saw you after you'd just been brought back from surgery? ... I honestly thought I was _still_ gonna lose you, and none of the staff could tell me I wasn't.

"Hey...Of course they couldn't! They don't know us. They don't know _what_ we'll overcome to get back together, don't know how hard we fight, _both_ of us."

"I guess."

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I swerved for that stupid dog. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did. I'm sorry I babbled and left you thinkin' I'd tried to top myself. Hell, I'm sorry I stopped breathin' and scared the crap outta you. But I'm here now, it's gonna be ok, we're back together, like we should be, like we always _will_ be, one way or another. Whatever life decideds to throw at us...We'll always face it together. Right?"

"Right."

"Ok...Now, go get the AMA papers. I got my baby to work on. You didn't give up on me, an' so I'm not givin' up on her ... _Or _on you.

-o-o-o-

Fin.


End file.
